child should never be scolded. I am accused of speaking
ill of parents! but I have seen them at work, you
see, and I know that ninety per cent of parents snub
a child who comes spontaneously to confess a mistake:
“You are very naughty. Go away, I am busy” - instead
of listening to the child with patience and explaining
to him where his fault lies, how he ought to have
acted. And the child, who had come with good intentions,
goes away quite hurt, with the feeling: “Why am I
treated thus?” Then the child sees his parents are
not perfect - which is obviously true of them today
- he sees that they are wrong and says to himself:
“Why does he scold me, he is like me!”
(Ibid. Vol. 4,p.28.vol.12,p.11)
pitfall to avoid: do not scold your child without
good reason and only when it is quite indispensable.
A child who is too often scolded gets hardened to
rebuke and no longer attaches much importance to words
or severity of tone. And above all, take good care
never to scold him for a fault which you yourself
commit. Children are very keen and clear-sighted observers;
they soon find out your weaknesses and note them without
a child has done something wrong, see that he confesses
it to you spontaneously and frankly; and when he has
confessed, wit kindness and affection make him understand
what was wrong in him movement so that he will not
repeat it, but never scold him; a fault confessed
must always be forgiven. You should not allow any
fear to come between you and your child; fear is a
pernicious means of education: it invariably gives
birth to deceit and lying. Only a discerning affection
that is firm yet gentle and an adequate practical
knowledge will create the bonds of trust that are
indispensable for you to be able to educate your child
effectively. And do not forget that you have to control
yourself constantly in order to be equal to your task
are truly fulfil the duty which you owe your child
by the meifact of having brought him into the world.
A child ought to stop being naughty because he learns
to biashamed of being naughty, not because he is afraid
the first case, he makes true progress.
In the second, he falls one step down in human con
sciousness, for fear is a degradation of consciousness.
hit the children - all blows are forbidden, even the
slightest little slap or the so-called friendly punch.
To give a blow to a child because he does not obey
or does not understand or because he is disturbing
the others indicates a lack of self-control, and it
is harmful for both teacher and student.
measures may be taken if necessary, but in complete
calm and not because of a personal reaction.
are a good teacher but it is your way of dealing with
the children that is objectionable.
children must be educated in an atmosphere of love
No violence, never.
No scolding, never.
Always a gentle kindness and the teacher must be the
living example of the virtues the child must acquire.
children must be happy to go to school, happy I learn,
and the teacher must be their best friend who givt
them the example of the qualities they must acquire.
And all that depends exclusively on the teacher. Why
he does and how he behaves.
Sweet Mother, should one punish a child?
What do you mean by punish? If a child is noisy in
class and prevents the others from working, you must
tell him to behave himself; and if he continues, you
can send him out of the class. That is not a punishment,
it is a natural consequence of his actions. But to
punish! To punish! You have no right to punish. Are
you the Divine? Who has given you the right to punish?
The children too can punish you for your actions.
Are you perfect yourselves? Do you know what is good
or what is bad? Only the Divine knows. Only the Divine
has the right to punish.
vibrations that you emit bring you into contact with
corresponding vibrations. If you emit harmful and
destructive vibrations, quite naturally you draw corresponding
vibrations towards yourselves and that is the real
punishment, if you want to use that word; but it does
not correspond at all to the divine organisation of
(Ibid. Vol. 12,p.364,p.197,p.196,pp.379-80)